FFF #38--The Law of the Harvest

This is one of my very favorite times of the year.  I LOVE October!  I love the nip of chill in the air as the brisk fall weather indicates cooler temperatures on the horizon (at least here in the states).  I love fall leaves and Halloween and pumpkin flavored everything!

At our house, we have been putting up grape jelly--75 pints worth, so far.  This week we were looking forward to apple pie filling and applesauce.  (Until the toilet overflowed---now we are just trying to get the bathroom and the laundry functioning.  Still waiting on that front!)  But this is the season to reap the benefits of lots of hard work over the spring and summer seasons.

Because we are no longer a strictly agricultural society, the 'law of the harvest' is farther and farther from our every day lives.  Sure, we participate in it to a small degree (not many of us can afford house elves to clean up after us if we choose not to do it).  But with fast food, electricity, indoor plumbing, smart phones, etc....we no longer have to completely participate in the law of the harvest to have our needs met.  Not many of us have to build a fire to keep warm or sew clothing to have something to wear or bottle fruits and vegetables to have something to eat through the winter.  We do not have to plan or prepare much to survive.  We just expect we will be able to do most of that with out too much thought or effort.  Heaven forbid if for some reason our expectation aren't met!  We'll figure out who to call and yell at to get our services functioning again.  (It is really funny typing that sentence knowing that this week I have spoken with 7 plumbers trying to get the washing machine back up and functioning!!  I haven't yelled at anyone yet, but I have been plenty, plenty frustrated!!)

One place I believe the 'lazy monster' rears its ugly head is in our parenting.  We want parenting to be easy, simple, straight forward.  We birth them, change them, feed them, rest them, and teach them a few of our favorite things.  We want them to grow and eventually move out having become amazing, beautiful, brilliant, talented people without much effort on our part.  Oh, well, we expect a little kick-back---like crying babies, a few childhood illnesses, a broken bone or two, and maybe a visit to the principal's office.  But over all, we do not expect learning disabilities, physical deformities, serious childhood illness, or death.

Our oldest son had Hirschprung's Disease.  He perforated a bowel at one month old, had emergency surgery, stayed in the NICU for a month and had a colostomy for 2 and 1/2 years.  (He also has an anaphylactic nut allergy.)  Our 2nd had a heart murmur and was drowning in his own blood before we figured that out.  He also had horrible colic because he was allergic to everything I was eating we didn't know it.  By the third child, I was praying for a 'normal' baby, one without all of those 'extra' problems.  At some point in my prayers, I realized ---- Wait a minute!  Some people are born with physical disabilities, some have mental disabilities.  Some people eventually need glasses or braces, or special medications.  Having something wrong with us, IS normal!  Ugh!

Then I realized that it really didn't matter what their issues might be.  I was going to love them anyway.  I do!  And I have!  I am sure you do too.

But just loving them isn't enough.  We have to teach them!  We expect to teach them toilet training, how to read, and ride a bike, to talk, and to feed themselves.  I think most of us expect to do that.  But we also have to teach them how to share, to use their words, to manage their anger and as they get older, how to manage their time, money, homework, and sort through emotional issues and relationships.  We need to teach them how to interact properly with others.  When we take into account their individual struggles, physical or otherwise, teaching those things will usually take us more work, time and effort than we want to exert.

In the past, the school and the church (any denomination) have functioned to help parents socialize their children and educate them academically and spiritually (morally).  It would seem however, in our modern, individualistic society, that as parents, many of us would like to abdicate our responsibilities for teaching and training to the school or the church.  With our society's increasingly fast pace toward moral relativism (where everyone is right and no one is wrong), however, neither the church, nor the school can be relied upon to teach these principles.  Where we once could teach our children at home and then send them out into the world to validate these teachings, more and more often our children are coming home confused because the messages they receive out in society are so very mixed and often at odds with the ones we are teaching at home (if indeed we are making an effort to do that).

What are we harvesting??  Just look around and listen to the news.  My husband told me that we have had 71 school shootings this year!!  71!!  Thirty years ago, when I was in high school, I don't ever remember hearing about any!  More and more children are showing a propensity toward violence, so much so that many of them are being tried in our courts as adults!  Mothers are killing their children, not only through abortion, but after they have cared for them for months or even years!  More children are born out of wedlock than are now born within the bonds of marriage.  More and more families are ending in divorce, if they begin with marriage in the first place.

It would seem to me that the 'moral crops' we are harvesting as a society are not going in the right direction.  My belief is because more and more, we are taking God out of the equation and out of our society.  Mentioning Him in public is no longer 'politically correct' because we might offend someone. 

Well, we are offending someone!  Him!

The more we remove our hearts and thoughts from Him and His way, the more and more we will continue to reap the harvest of the seeds we are currently planting.

I am here to tell you that there is a right way.  There is a right answer!  Our Father in Heaven, God, has a plan!  He has an opinion!  Your life and the lives of your children and your siblings, and your parents, and your spouse, and your spouse's family----He cares about all of us!!  He wants all of us to be happy and loved, and cared for and for our needs to be met, regardless of our station, or economics, or nationality, or the color of our skin.  We are all His children and He loves us all!!  He knows what we need to do to receive those blessings.  Hi message has not changed since the beginning.  He is the same yesterday, today and forever.  You can know the truth of His message for yourself!  You do not have to rely on the words of others.  You can learn to recognize His spirit in your life and how it works.  Through the power of the Holy Ghost we can know the truth of all things!

Start by praying to  your Father in Heaven.  Tell Him you know He has a plan and you want to learn about it and follow Him!  Read the scriptures----the Bible and the Book of Mormon to hear the words of ancient prophets.  Here what His modern prophets are saying---Link here!  Call the missionaries for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and ask them to teach you about God's plan (no string attached--if you don't like what they say, they won't come back!).  If you need more help, email me and I will help you.  God loves you.  He has a plan for you and your life.  He will help you.  Then you will know how to help your children and your grandchildren and your great grandchildren!!

Teaching them truth is not taking away their ability to choose for themselves.  It is giving them direction and guidance.  It is not brainwashing them.  It is our responsibility to teach them and help them, that is why God sent them to us, so that we could help them.  If we want to harvest happy, stable, healthy people, we have to be those kind of people, and we have to teach them how to do it!!  (Not ignore our responsibility or hope it will just happen without any work on our part.)  It is time to rise up and become the parents God intended us to be!

Internet down blessings

Every year, the Monday before Halloween, we carve our pumpkins, roast the seeds, drink apple cider or hot cocoa, and watch the Legend of Sleepy Hollow (Disney style).  It is one of my favorite evenings because we are enjoying each others' company, spending time as a family doing something fun, and just hanging out together.

This year, we had also promised one of our children they would be able to watch a TV show for their help to clean up the building after a funeral this week.  Unfortunately, their 'reward' was going to fall on last night, our traditional Legend of Sleepy Hollow viewing.   I was not very happy.

For whatever reason, the stars and the cosmos aligned and our internet was down from about 4 p.m until 9 p.m.  That wasn't so great for our son, who was disappointed at not receiving his reward last night, but it made me supremely happy, because we have the Legend of Sleepy Hollow on video.  Unfortunately, that wasn't working either.  We did, however, have apple cider, carve pumpkins, enjoy family home evening and watched our favorite comedy series, Studio C.

Spike LOVED carving pumpkins and getting the seeds out.  This year I must have roasted them just the right way because the children ate almost all of them.  (Sorry, no photos).  But I simply washed the seeds in the colander, melted butter on a cookie sheet under the broiler, stirred the seeds into the butter and topped it with a ton of salt.  Then we broiled them for 10 minutes, stirred and broiled for five more.  Voila!  Delicious!

After the children had gone to bed, and the internet was up, I watched the Legend of Sleepy Hollow!  Well, more realistically, I fell asleep to it.  Guess I'll watch it again later today!

Happy Halloween!!

Clearer Perspective

I have been struggling lately with all of the drama going on here at our house.  I called one of my visiting teaching people on Thursday to invite her family to our ward Halloween Party and ended up taking her to the emergency room at the hospital.  After 5 hours in the emergency room, they decided to admit her.  I got home just after midnight, got my little family up and moving on Friday morning and was exhausted throughout the day, trying to manage home and visit my friend.  Her husband was out of town and she literally was all alone.  She really did need me there, as she has not been active for awhile and does not have many close friends.

Friday evening was the party, so there was that business of helping the children to get ready.  And then the toilet overflowed in the carpeted bathroom, but also backed up into the tub and the shower.  It has been a lovely weekend of talking to five plumbers in 24 hours trying to get that bathroom functioning (because every time we run a load of laundry, it overflows the toilet).  It has been just lovely!  Anyway, Friday night I just started to cry because of the stress and I personally bagged the Halloween party but sent the kids.

Saturday morning started bright and early with the Primary Program Practice, which we are presenting today.  The other ward in our building is also having their program today, so they wanted the building at the same time and they had actually scheduled it, where we had not.  We moved our practice to an hour and a half earlier.  Which all ended up being very good and wise because we had an unexpected memorial service that afternoon in the building as well (which for us, ended up being 5 and 1/2 hours, with set-up and clean-up) all the while trying to coordinate with multiple plumbers about our bathroom.  More crying for me on Saturday.

The bathroom is still not functioning (which means no laundry as well) and we will see what happens on Monday.  At least by the end of today, the Primary Program will be over.  One thing off of the list.

However, with all of our drama and stress, I watched this video this morning:

And I realized, that my life is really not so hard after all.  I do not have to flee my homeland or leave all of my things behind.  My daughter is not paralyzed from our journey and someone shooting her.  I have all the things I want and need, including two other bathrooms that work.  I have hope, and faith, family, love and all of the necessities of life.  Life is good!

I know my Father in Heaven loves me!  I know He is aware of me!  I know He will help me and comfort me, if I let Him!

Have a beautiful Sabbath.  Life is good, even when the toilet overflows onto my new carpet.




Update:  After I posted, I read this article on lds.org: "The Surprising Science Behind 'Supremely Happy' People."  It is well worth your time and happiness!!

When bad things happen

I know!  I missed my Family First Friday blog.  Oh well.  I guess that happens.  When all is said and done, I wanted to have 52 Family First Friday posts.  So far I have 37.  So I won't hit the mark, but I will be so much closer than last year, when I think I had seven.  Maybe next year I will have all 52!!  But that is not what my post is about today.

Yesterday I had the opportunity to attend the temple.  It was amazing.  We didn't get to attend a session for endowments because two stakes were having their stake temple day.  The locker room was packed before we arrived and when we were leaving--standing room only, in the locker room!  Crazy!  But it was great to see so many people there worshiping together.

copyright:  Karen Larsen photography

While we were coming home from the temple, my family was having another adventure.  We live on a very busy intersection.  (Not busy by big city standards, but very busy by super small city standards.)  Our intersection is the main place to turn to get to the church building and a major route to the only hospital in town.  Because it is busy, we probably have about four accidents a year at our intersection.  Most are fender benders and people just not being very careful.  We usually hear the accident and then we (all the neighbors included) run out to see who needs help and what we can do, call the ambulance, or police, or whoever needs to be notified.

Around 2:30 or 3:00 p.m. yesterday, there was a major crash at our intersection.  My husband went running out to check on the vehicles and passengers.  His adrenaline went through the roof when he saw that the car which was hit had four elders in it (missionaries) with blood everywhere, and three were unconscious and unresponsive.  Various emergency vehicles were called.  The sisters were just a few car lengths in front of them ahead of the accident after they had made the turn to the building, so they pulled over, and called their mission president and the zone leaders.

Two missionaries eventually walked away from the accident.  Two were taken to the hospital.  One was released last night after eight staples in his head (I think that is where all the blood came from).  The other was flown to a larger hospital down south.  I think he will be alright, but obviously his injuries were bad enough that our hospital didn't feel like they could manage his care.  Please add your prayers to our and pray for those boys and their families, include their companions too.  Because even though they are physically alright, it doesn't mean they are emotionally and spiritually alright.

Today I have been pondering how we manage life when hard things happen to us.  When we are struggling with our emotions because we are hurt, afraid, sad, depressed, embarrassed, ashamed, guilty, disappointed, when our spirits are low and life seems dark, how do we manage?  Where do we turn?

In my life's experience, it seems to me that we turn one of two ways.  We either turn toward God, or we turn away from him.  If we turn away, we may turn to alcohol, drugs, pornography, anger, apathy, food, or any number of other avenues we may try to use to soothe our negative feelings.  Unfortunately, these things do not take away or fix our negative feelings, they simply mask them so we don't have to feel them right now.

The only way to truly manage them properly, to eliminate them or help manage them while we are working through them, is to turn to God---to give them to Him, through the Atonement of our Savior, Jesus Christ.

Read this story to give context for the next part of our discussion.

It took me a minute or two of pondering to put some concepts together in my head and help me gain a clearer picture.  I struggled with how the Savior has paid for all sin, when the scriptures teach us, in D&C 19: 15-18:

 15 Therefore I command you to repent—repent, lest I smite you by the rod of my mouth, and by my wrath, and by my anger, and your sufferings be sore—how sore you know not, how exquisite you know not, yea, how hard to bear you know not.

 16 For behold, I, God, have suffered these things for all, that they might not suffer if they would repent;

 17 But if they would not repent they must suffer even as I;

 18 Which suffering caused myself, even God, the greatest of all, to tremble because of pain, and to bleed at every pore, and to suffer both body and spirit—and would that I might not drink the bitter cup, and shrink—

It seemed to me that it wouldn't be just, for justice to be paid twice, once by the Savior and once by those who do not repent.  That didn't seem right.

But if you look at it as each sin needing to be paid for twice, once for the one who committed the sin--the driver in Joe's story, and once for the person who received the pain and suffering of the behavior (Joe), then it is easy to see how the Savior has paid for all sins, at least on one side, or both sides of the equation, while still requiring the unrepentant perpetrator to pay for his own sin.

When bad things happen to us, especially due to no fault of our own, the only place to turn to that will adequately mend our souls, is to the Savior, who has paid the price already for all of our pain and suffering.  He has felt it all and is intimately acquainted with our grief and sorrow and pain.  When we choose not to turn to Him in those moments, we are denying the power of the Atonement and the Savior's ability to succor us in our moments of trial, hardship, and despair.

Lest you think I am on a soap box and preaching at you, the truth be told, I don't know exactly how to do that myself.  Intellectually, it makes total and complete sense to me.  Application wise?  I am still learning and struggling through my mortality as much as you are.  I don't know the how of it, I just know that I need to do it.  In our times of emotional difficulty, we can and must turn to the Savior, if we are going to manage it properly.  I know He has suffered for my sorrow, my grief, my pain, my anguish, my guilt, and even my sin, if I am willing to do what He asks of me and repent.  If I have done no wrong, I still know He knows my sorrow and pain.  He felt it.  He understands.  He knows what I need to do to get through it and learn from it.  He will never leave me, if I turn to Him.  But that has to be my choice.  He will not force me.  He will only reach after me.  The choice to come unto Him, is mine, and mine alone.

I read this article by President Uchtdorf this morning.

Instead of thinking about it in terms of gaining my testimony, I though about it in terms of strengthening my testimony, of shoring it up, gathering the oil of conversion in my lamp of testimony, so when the storms of life come at me, because they will, I have enough in there to give me light through the dark night of trial and adversity, the storms of life.  I think this post is more for me.  I feel a storm brewing on the horizon.

Service -- Pass it forward

Many moons ago, when we were young married college students, and our ward was all of three blocks big (seriously, it really was only three small city blocks!!), I was thinking about one of the other families in our ward.  They had one small daughter.  The wife had just started working because things were tight financially for their family.  I just was feeling bad for them and wondering if there wasn't some way that we could show them how much we loved and appreciated them.

I started talking to a few of the women in my ward who were also friends with this family.  We did a little brainstorming.  I don't remember whose idea it was, but we decided that one night, we would go into their apartment at the appointed time, clean it and leave dinner on the table.  We also baked bread in their oven so the house smelled like homemade bread.  I'm sure it is only in Utah that we could do something like that.  Here in California we would probably have been put in jail for breaking and entering and/or the apartment manager who was also in our ward would have lost her job.  But one of their friends knew they didn't ever lock the sliding glass door, so we didn't have to ask the apartment manager for keys.

On the appointed day and time, we (the four or six of us) showed up and cleaned their two bedroom apartment and left dinner.  Because the wife had just started a full time job and they were adjusting, the house was a mess.  She was not a messy housekeeper.  She was usually pretty on top of it.  But we did our good deed and left dinner with a note as planned.

Not only did our friend break down and cry, but that particular day had been horrible for them.  Their daughter fell at day care and broke her arm.  Our friend had to leave work early to take her to the hospital, where they had spent the majority of the afternoon.  When they arrived home, tired and exhausted, they came into a clean home, with dinner and homemade bread and a little note that just said, "We love you and we are thinking about you today!"

We didn't leave our names.  It was a secret service!  Because she thought she knew who had done it, our friend gave a similar service for the person she thought had given her service.  That person wasn't involved in our service.  But that family then went out and paid a similar service to someone else.  We actually started a service wave in our ward.  It was very cool and really sweet to watch the benefits and the joy of those who received the service and then to hear about their secret service.

wmu.com

Can you imagine the good will and feelings of love and support our ward felt about each other as various members here and there received a non-solicited service, an expression of love, and friendship?  It was amazing!

I have not been able to figure out how to do something similar with our children.  But I have been able to reach out and serve the one.  Ocassionally I have been able to bring someone bread, or take a dinner, or watch their children, or talk with someone having a difficult day, or just smile.

Our world is a little out of the service loop.  We try to help others by giving them money or maybe donating to charities or giving of our time to organizations.  None of those things are bad or wrong and they help many people, I am sure.  But what about a teeny, tiny service to your neighbor?  What if you just mowed their lawn sometime?  How about if you brought them dinner or had them over, just because!

Here in California, in my neighborhood, my boys have helped our neighbor put together a bar-b-que grill.  She needed some help.  My neighbor next door, always kills the weeds that are next to his property.  I know he is probably doing it just so they don't blow onto his property, but I need to take him some bread and just tell him 'Thank you! I notice you do that and I appreciate it!'  I wish I was more on top of our yard work, but there is only so much work one woman can manage, even when she is also directing several other people to help her.  I need to reach out to my neighbors a little bit more, especially because they don't go to church with me.  But just to build some good will and positive happy feelings in my neighborhood.

muslimvillage.com

What about you?  Could your neighbors use a little loving service?