Mothering Moment Monday--Spike, Spike

Saturday, I was cooking dinner in the kitchen, after a sleep-less night with Spike, Spike and a difficult day.  He came into the kitchen and looked up at me.  When our eyes met, he made the sign for 'feed me,' which is putting your fingers and your thumb in a pinching motion (using your entire hand) and poking it into an open mouth a couple of times.

I said, "Are you hungry?"

He nodded, and made the motion again.  I gave him a cracker and he went off.  He came back again and did the same thing and I gave him another cracker.  He came back a third time and I was just about to give him another cracker but I realized that dinner was finished.

"Do you want some rice?" I asked.

"Rice!!!!"

"And some bread?"

"Bread!!!"

So I fed him dinner.

After the first hand motion and cracker exchange, I just started sobbing.  There was no drama, no screaming, no trying to figure out what he wanted, just communication and the exchange.  I realized how difficult he has been for me and the stress and struggle we have had.  The last two years have been exhausting.

Spike, Spike is very verbal and expects you to understand what he is saying.  He gets super frustrated if you don't get it.  He is also very emotionally sensitive.  He can tell, by just observing my countenance, if I am unhappy with him, and then his feelings are hurt.  He is a very different emotional child than the others I have had.  I have to remind myself that I was told, through the Spirit, that he was different.  I had many interpretations of what 'different' meant.  They were all wrong.  I am still not sure I can tell you what it is.....but different is the right word.  Nothing that is in my 'motherhood bag of tricks,' (which is pretty full after eight other children)  works with him.

Then yesterday for nursery, I took him into the room and told him it was time for me to leave.  He said, "no mommy!"  Then I said I would come back for singing time and then pick him up when nursery was over.  He said, "OK, Mom, have a nice day.....bye."  And I walked away.  Another miracle.  Most Sundays I have stayed with him for at least half of the nursery time.  Yesterday, I just walked away.  And he was fine.  FINE!  No crying, no screaming, none.

It never ceases to amaze me.  Each and every child is so different from one another.  I had forgotten that they aren't all like Spike, Spike.  I watched a friend's little one who is a few months younger than Spike, Spike.  He just wandered around the house and played.  None of siblings were here.  He was happy and content, not demanding.  Oh ya....they aren't all like mine!!  And the Lord is in charge of which one's He sends and when.

I need to learn to trust Him.  He will not send me more than I can handle.  Just because He sent me a hard one, doesn't mean He will do that next time.