When it didn't happen that way, and I was reminded that I was told that it wouldn't happen that way, I held on for a little while with the hope that it would come through soon. And then it didn't come, and it didn't come, and it didn't come. I kept wondering if it was coming. Could all that has happened just been in my head? Could I have misunderstood the things I was feeling and thinking that much? Really? I have been really, really struggling. Then yesterday I came to the place where I thought I must just have been completely wrong and misunderstood everything. I was sad, mostly because I felt like I had been so very wrong and missed the information or the point of the information.
Today I fasted for clarity. Yep. That was it. I just fasted for clarity--clarity in my thinking and my understanding of what I had been told and what the Spirit had been trying to communicate to me. Sunday morning as I was doing the dishes (a lot of my inspiration comes while I am doing the dishes, or in the shower, or anywhere when my body is busy working, but it doesn't take much of a brain), and the clarity came. 'You are moving. Yes, you are moving. Be patient. Be faithful.'
"Then why am I having such a difficult time remembering that information? Why do I keep doubting?"
'Because I cannot give you the blessings if you do not have the faith that it will happen.'
"Oh.......OK."
I think I am blogging this mostly so that the next time that I doubt, I can reread this and remind myself that not only do I feel like we are moving, not only have I asked to have these specific blessings, not only have I had numerous impressions that validate that we are moving, but now I have fasted and asked directly and received further evidence that the previous information is correct.
This entire process is so very interesting, and frustrating. My Father in Heaven has a time-table. He has a plan. Things are going according to His plan. I do not have any clue what the plan is, or how it is coming together, and at this point, I have no external validation that the plan will happen. But I have multiple spiritual witnesses that moving is on the agenda. So now we wait-----or I wait, and exercise my faith.
Here is the talk I rely on most in situations like this: Cast Not Away Therefore Thy Confidence, by Elder Holland. The other talk that has helped me lately has been Trial of Your Faith, by Elder Andersen.
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