Happy Birthday Scuff!!

No, you did not read the title wrong.  Yes, today is Scuff's birthday.  The boys are two years and one day apart.  I don't know (that is the answer to whatever question you are asking).  Scuff is an amazing man too.  What would I say to him?  Well, let's try.

Scuff,
I cannot believe I am old enough to have four grown sons.  Three returned missionaries, one preparing to leave.  I am so very glad you are home from Brazil.  I love having all of you serve missions.  I love the men you become because of your service.  But I also love having you home.  I am so grateful you are home for the summer before you head back out to school.

What to say?  This is the same problem I had with Spanky.  You too are brilliant.  It is hard not having you in the house to tutor everyone in math.  I miss you when I have to do it myself, especially since I don't remember any of my calculus, trig or even some of my geometry. 

We have had such a path to travel huh?  I am glad you are grown and we (I) am no longer having to monitor everything you eat.  That corn allergy was/is horrible!!  I am so glad it is all your responsibility now :-)

It is really difficult for me to think while everyone is running around me and asking me questions.  Here goes.  Scuff, being your mother has taught me so many things.

• Children have agency.  I cannot make them do anything.  You were so adamant as a little person.  When we needed to pick up or take home the babysitter, you would take off your seat belt.  It didn't matter how many times I would put it back on, you would just push the button and take it off.  I cannot even tell you the number of hours we spent in driveways waiting for you to leave your seat belt on so we could go somewhere.
• You were the baby who I just wished would hurry up and grow up.  I had things to do.  One day as I was thinking that, I thought I heard, 'this is your last baby'.  As I pondered and stressed over that thought, I learned to cherish you and each child as if it were my last.  Every baby deserves to have a mother who loves that baby and doesn't rush him or her through their childhood or wish away their time together.  Thanks for being patient with me.
• When Sport entered our family, I stressed and stressed over my ability to parent you.  I didn't have the energy to discipline you and manage the baby.  I cried and cried.  You needed so much attention and discipline in my eyes.  The blessing I received told me that each child comes with their own attitude and predispositions.  The Lord knows them.  He knows what they need and when they need it.  I didn't have to stress about things I was not capable of.  My job was to love, teach, train, mold, hold, and guide to the best of my ability.  I was not responsible for your choices, if I fulfilled those responsibilities.
• I remember one day when you were so angry with me and so out of control and big that I could not hold you any longer when you were being defiant and wanted to do something else.  I finally quit trying to keep you some place.  My words meant nothing to you that night.  I sat on the stairs crying because I could not reach you.  My tears did something my words could not.  After 15 or 20 minutes, you came out of your room, hugged me, and told me you were sorry.  Mother's tears can touch boys' hearts.  That was news to me.
• I learned when I could not reach you, I could call your father and give the task to him.  There is a reason there are two parents, one male and one female.  I need your father and his help to raise these men.
• You and Sport have the best relationship!  You have been the most enjoyable teenagers we have had so far.  You not only got along great, you are both hilarious and you like the same things---except music.  Your music choices are so very different.  And yours, an not that great, Scuff, just sayin'!
• I have constantly been amazed at your courage and ability to stand up to people twice or three times your age, to express your views or tell them where to get off the bus.  Most of the time, you did so with grace and kindness.  There were just those few times with that one person........
• You are so logical it is scary, but very reassuring.
• Thank you for knowing the scriptures and being able to teach with the Spirit!  It really helps the littles when you do that!!
• I am so very glad you have only one set of wisdom teeth.  I never want to be responsible for you when you are coming out of anesthetic again!  We were walking into the house, I was suppose to be your support until we reached the couch.  You did not want my help or think you needed it.  You dropped my arm, ran through the house, and locked yourself in the garage, with me banging on the door to please let me in and come sit on the couch until your medications wore off.  You would not cooperate.

You are the best!!  Thanks for being my boy!!  Here is my favorite photo of you, because it shows your attitude--then and now :-)

Love Mom