Mom and Dad--simple enough for a two-year-old.

My little two-year-old loves Blue's Clues.  If you don't know what that is, just google it.  It is no longer on the air, so we rent the videos from the library so he can watch them.  (As a side note, I am extremely picky about what my children watch on TV...some people think I am crazy and that is OK.  I only let them watch shows that I think are educational in some way.  I love the ones that are educational and entertaining, and Blue's Clues is certainly that.  Teaching my little ones to think is highest on my list, so shows that especially teach logic and reasoning are my very favorite.)

Blue's Clues has several characters on their show.  Two are Mr. Salt and Mrs. Pepper.  As you can see, they literally are the salt and pepper shakers in the kitchen, who talk, of course, and have two children, Paprika and Cinnamon (they are also shakers).  Spike Spike has been watching Blue's Clues for about four months now.  He is familiar with the show and the characters and the format.  Yesterday, while he was watching the rented Blue's Clues video for probably the 20th time, he pointed to Mrs. Pepper (which he can say) and he said, "Mom."

I was impressed.  I was more impressed when we were standing in the doorway to the chapel as sacrament meeting was ending and a man with unkempt hair, jeans, tennis shoes and a T-shirt, walked in the front door and removed his hat.  My little two-year-old pointed to him and said, "Dad."  Now, he did not confuse this man for his dad.  He was simply stating, he is a dad.  I'm sure it was because he is a man.  But I realized that in the two hours I had spent with my little man, he knew that women are mothers, or Mom, and men are fathers, or Dad.  A Mom and a Dad, and each child deserves both, because mothers and fathers are different in how they view children and the unique gifts each of them bring to the table of child-rearing and family.

When we debate in the public square and the courts the merits of same-sex 'marriage' and family status, we are debating the merits in terms of adults.  Most of the time, we are neglecting the voices of the children, who have no one to speak for them, except adults.

The family is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation. Extended families should lend support when needed.  The Family: A Proclamation to the World

Children have a RIGHT to be reared by a mother and a father, both, not one, not two mothers, not two fathers.  Two parents of same gender is not the issue, it is two parents of opposite gender.  Children, each and every child, are ENTITLED to a mother AND a father.  Both.  Period.

Now, we all know that is not possible in each and every situation.  That may be the reality, but that is not how God intended it to be.  Why do you think it takes one of each, a man and a woman to actually bring a child into the world.  Before our advances in modern technology, it wasn't possible for a woman to conceive without ever being with a man.  There was a stigma against mothers who had children out of wedlock.  Regardless of the changes in our modern society, it was always intended that a child would have a mother and a father, even if during their life times that may change due to death, illness, war, etc...

I was deeply moved recently by this video.  Professor Lopez  I tried to embed the video here, but I can't seem to find the right title for the video to upload it.  Watch it.  It will only take you 8 minutes.  Professor Lopez was raised by a lesbian couple.  He aspired to be a homosexual (his own words).  Then he fell in love with a woman, and had a child.  Now his perspective has changed.  He believes children have a right to a mother and a father.  I really appreciated his comments and his willingness to share experiences deeply personal to him.

We must consider the needs of the children in our discussions of what adults want.  We need to build our society around what is best for children and strive to reach for the ideal for each and every child, knowing that we will fall short.  The more we strive for the ideal, however, the more children will have their rights available.  The more we think about the rights of the children and as adults, stand up for those who cannot speak for themselves, the healthier and happier our society will be. 

Its simple enough that even a two-year-old understands.  Happy Monday.

Family First Friday Post #2--Spike, Spike turns two!

Spike Spike turned two on Tuesday!!  I cannot believe he is two already.  On Monday, I was reviewing how difficult his pregnancy, birth, and first year were for me.  I am glad that is behind me.  I love this little two-year old.  He is the most difficult child to date.  Each of the other children's 'most difficult quality' he has---all in one person!

Slim--anaphylactic nut allergy---which runs in a triangle and means you are probably also allergic to shellfish and legumes on some level.  Spike Spike has this allergy along with a host of others, some known, some unknown.

Spanky---biting.  Although Spike Spike does not bite, he does throw things at you from close range (and he has an arm), hit you (in the face or anywhere else), and head butt with force.  He can be a brute.

Scuff--not sleeping.  Scuff is allergic to corn, corn meal, corn starch, corn flour, corn oil, corn syrup, etc...  Whenever he had something with corn, he would not sleep.  That was for the first two years.  Then his allergic reaction changed.  Instead of not sleeping, his behavior became unruly.  He would hit, scream, yell, bite, kick, be disobedient, unable/unwilling to reason, argumentative---it was ugly.  Spike, Spike does not sleep when he eats something he is allergic to.  We went to Tammy's potluck on Saturday and that little boy did not go to sleep until after 1 a.m that morning.  That was after I gave him Benadryl at midnight.  I am still not sure what he ate that did that.  It was awful.

Sport--picky, picky, picky.  Spike Spike is so finicky!!  He has to have THIS cup (the green one).  It cannot be wet or even have condensation on the outside.  If he is teething, he will not eat.  He picks his own clothes and will not wear things he doesn't like.  (This changes from day to day.)  The only consistent article of clothing he will wear, dirty or clean, is his 'Uperman shirt'.  If he ate something yesterday, he probably won't eat it today.

hdwpapers.com

Speedy--super emotional.  Spike Spike also reads social cues.  That should be a good thing right?  Well, Spike Spike gets his feelings hurt when he recognizes that you are not happy with him and then, there is little you can do to console him.  The other night, he would not rest.  At 2 a.m., we are laying in my bed.  I am trying to get him to go back to sleep.  "Milk?......"    "Milk?......."   "Milk?........"   " Milk?........."  Frustrated, after many sleepless nights, I finally said, "FINE! We'll get your milk," and scooped him up rather abruptly.  At this point he started crying, head in hands and all.  I headed down the stairs, and into the kitchen.  I got the GREEN cup and filled it with milk, dried it off, and handed it to him.  He threw it onto the floor and started really screaming.  Not exactly a conducive situation to have a non-emotional and reasonable dialogue with a two-year-old.  It took more time to control my temper, soften my voice and smooth his feelings than it did for him to actually fall back asleep in his own bed.  SHEESH!

Sun---drama.  See the above example.  That's all I am going to say.

Shorty--blood sugar issues.  Shorty will just get busy and not eat because he is playing or doesn't like what we are eating.  Then he is super emotional and obnoxious because his blood sugar is too low.  I had to teach him that when he chose not to feed himself, it was like asking his car to work without putting gas into it.  He needed food.  So when he was emotional and obnoxious, instead of disciplining him, I would have him recount what he had eaten.  He always needed food.  Spike Spike is like that.  He just won't eat if he doesn't like it or has another agenda (or is teething).  I usually have to sit and feed him or assign someone else to do it to ensure he is eating enough.

Smiley---attitude.  I am the baby.  I am the king.  My way or the highway!  Serious, serious attitude issues in our littlest boy.

There he is, in a nutshell.  On the positive end, he is bright!  Wow!  And fun!  He has the best faces I have ever seen in a little person.  You can read his thoughts by the expressions on his face (sometimes that is not good, other times it is hilarious!).  He says 'please' and 'thank you' appropriately.  He loves books!  And he loves Jesus.  Mom kisses make every booboo better.  His favorite song is Book of Mormon Stories, which he chooses to sing every Family Home Evening.  His favorite show is Blue's Clues which we have to rent from the library.  His allergies---food, pollen, grasses---are horrible and he already has asthma issues.  But he has that great Norwegian, stand-up, blonde, curly hair and bright blue eyes.  He gets completely frustrated when we do not understand what he needs/wants, but he has gotten much better as his language skills have improved.  His vocabulary has exploded in the last four months.

Now it is time for him to meet his missionary brother.  Spike Spike was born just 10 days before Spanky entered the MTC and the day before his father was set-apart as the Bishop for the second time.  Two very busy years!!

We love you Spike Spike!!  Happy Two Year Mark!

Winding down and Rev-ving up

Here we are, down to the wire for Tammy.  We finished her party on Saturday night.  It was so very cute.  She had brown table cloths with cut-out shapes of Wisconsin with her address in them for her guests to take.  For the center pieces, she had chalk board painted small frames that could stand independently and written favorite scriptures and sayings on them.  Yesterday she finished her talks in both wards.  Today is washing day and packing day and setting apart day.  Tomorrow she flies away.  Wednesday is MTC day.

I have loved having her home.  We have really enjoyed our time together and getting things ready for her to serve.  I know you will be amazing Tammy!!  You can do it!  We even got her missionary plaque on the wall.  Her plaque looks like this (since my camera is dead, I don't have a photo of hers....):

She used this photo:

Isn't she beautiful??

We purchase our plaques from:
Awards by Navajo (ABN)
2364 Fletcher Parkway
El Cajon, CA 92020
(619) 465-2881

My friend Melinda's family runs the business.  They do amazing work....you should check them out.

We are also revving up for Spanky's return:  Our Orlando, Florida missionary comes home in a week!!  It will fun to have him home and to hear all of his stories and help him get ready to reintegrate into life and school.  He will only be home for a month, but that is OK with us!!!

Two plaques go up (we just put up Scuff's plaque this weekend too), and one comes down!!  Woohoo!!  It really makes life busy here, but I love the changing of the guard because it means that we are learning and growing.  Like I said, there is never a dull moment!

Man-up!

My beautiful daughter is away at Girls' Camp this week!  (In the United States, our Young Women 12-18 attend a week of girls' camp, where they learn outdoor skills, build unity and friendship and increase their testimonies of our Savior, Jesus Christ.  For me, I gained most of my testimony from my experiences at girls' camp.  I LOVE IT!! --even as an adult!  But this year, she is there without me...that is a post for another day.)  The point is, that since she is gone, I can share this story.

One of my sons was having difficulty in his relationship with his sister.  She was trying to play and he was not in the mood.  He got hurt and snapped at her, verbally, and hard.  It really hurt her feelings. 

In talking to him about it and how he should have responded, he told me that he didn't have to be nice, it wasn't in his job description.  You can imagine how well that comment went over with me as his mother.  Being that he holds the Priesthood, I called him on it immediately.

"Wrong!  Do you hold the Priesthood?"
"Yes."
"Then you represent the Savior, especially in your interactions with others.  Being kind is in your job description.  Man-up, and do your job!"

He was not very happy, but the message was received.

Earlier in the week, I had an experience where I was particularly emotional, which is unusual for me.  As I was relating the experience to my sweetheart, I said, "I think that is why I have a difficult time with touchy-feely women.  I think of it as a weakness.  I am one, it drives me crazy, and I do not like that characteristic about myself.  Real- women should just man-up."  Real women should man-up.........my husband thought that comment was really funny.

Not a particularly glowing report of myself.  A dear friend reminded me that the part I do not like about myself, being emotional and particularly sensitive of negative comments, looks, etc.. is exactly what makes me who I am: compassionate and cognizant of others feelings and emotions.  If I wasn't that way myself, I wouldn't be able to be as nurturing as I am.  Her comments helped me to frame my character in a different light.  I still do not yet embrace the idea, as evidenced by my previous comment, but I am working on it.  I recognize the truth in her words.  Now I have to learn to apply the information and change my attitude.  Repentance, anyone?!

That concept, that things we don't like in other people are sometimes reflective of our own personalities is actually a concept in psychology.  It is called Projection....where we project some of our flaws onto others.  So I am not really projecting, because that also implies that it is really not a part of the other person's character.  But I do recognize a characteristic in others, complain about it and see it as a weakness, when in reality, it is a part, a large part, I might add, of who I am.  Now I need to recognize it for the strength it can be.

What parts of your personality do you not like and want to change?  What are you doing about changing it?   Do you blame others for that part of you?  Is it really a strength in disguise?

I think I should learn to embrace that part of my woman-hood and not feel the need to Man-up!

Missionary Prep

Our sweet Tammy girl is only about a week away from departing for the Missionary Training Center!!  We have spent the last month getting her ready to go!  We are down to the wire and our list is manageable.  Yea!!

Here is a photo of dear friends who took us to lunch at a build your own bowl Mongolian grill.  It was so fun!  You pile all your food into a bowl and whatever you can fit in the bowl is fair game.  Then you wait in line and watch the cook grill it for you.  They then put it into another bowl and hand it back to you.  We had a great time.

Yesterday we finished off Tammy's dental work.  She was such a trooper!  She had to have some deep cleaning done.  Usually they do one half of your mouth at one appointment and then schedule another appointment to do the other half.  Because her time is so short, she did it all in one appointment.   Her entire mouth and tongue were numb.  Now her jaw is sore and her gums are tender.  She is such a brave woman---25 shots in her mouth!!  Yuck!

This next Saturday we'll have her 'Tammy is going on a Mission' party.  Next Sunday she will speak in both wards.  Then sometime Sunday or Monday she'll be set-apart as a missionary and Tuesday she'll take off and enter the MTC on Wednesday.

Here are my notes to remember Tams:

• You are stronger than you think.  (from Pooh Bear's Grand Adventure)
• You were saved for this day and time....these are you days!
• You have an amazing testimony, born of much struggle and sacrifice.  You know the Lord watches over you and is there for you.  He will be right by your side through this new journey.
• Trust your heart and follow the Spirit.  You have a great heart and you genuinely love and care for people.  Some of them will let you down, but most of them will rise to the occasion.  
• When they let you down, turn to the Lord.  He will comfort you and He will always be there.  You can trust that.
• Study, study, study....many new insights and inspiration will come to you as you study the scriptures and words of the prophets.
• Pray, pray, pray....you already know why to do that.  Remember when you feel alone or frustrated or disappointed, we are praying for you!
• Communicate verbally to express your needs to your companion and other missionaries and your mission president.  This will be a new experience for you.  Be honest in your feelings and your needs and expressing those to others.  This will probably be one of the most difficult things you do.
• Go forth with faith.  You will make some mistakes, simply because you do not know how to do it all yet.  You will have to learn and mistakes will be made as you learn.  Remember, that's what a permit is for. :-)
• Remember our favorite girlie movie, Pride and Prejudice....sometimes things are not as we think.
• When you are tempted to act in frustration or anger, remember you represent the Lord Jesus Christ.  You bear His name.  What would He do and how would He handle it?
• Most of all.....you are loved and you can do this!!

We will see you in 18 months!